One Day at a Time
by Dozen and One Stars
Summary: I breathe in, I breathe out. I put one foot in front of the other. I take it one day at a time. The journey through the pregnancy. BA


**Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order: CI.**

**A/N: This first italicized section is a scene from A Murder Among Us. The episode is about a woman who kills herself in order to frame her husband, who is killing young Jewish men. Alex is on maternity leave and Bobby is partnered with Bishop.**

_

* * *

__"Is that why your dad beat your mom, huh? Why he broke her shoulder with an andiron?" Goren kept advancing on Brody. Starting a familiar dance. A play. Where he was an actor on the stage. Taking on different personalities to fit his role. Only this time his own anger toward the suspect was seeping through._

_"Because he couldn't do it to the Jew. That guy had connections. My dad would have lost his job." Brody reasoned with his own twisted logic._

_"You could have done something?" Goren made a quick movement. Putting him right in Brody's face. _

_"What? I was too young."_

_"So, you did nothing. You just watched your dad," Goren had to pause for a moment before continuing, "beat your mom into a pulp. Watched him tear your family apart. All because of the Jew?"_

_"Yes."_

_"You couldn't protect your mom? Even when she got sick it was his fault too? She got cancer down there where the Jew had been. He infected her." Goren's tone was almost taunting the man before him. Egging him on._

_"Stop it."_

_"The disease it ate her up. And you could do nothing. Except for, well, choke on you rage and your hate. And then her death, that was too much, Lance. You couldn't keep it in anymore. You had to make him pay."_

_Brody made a feeble attempt to grab a metal pipe from the stack on his right_

_"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Brody made a feeble attempt to grab a metal pipe from the stack on his right but Bobby snatched it before he could get a grip on it. _

_"But he was long dead, huh? Long dead but there were plenty, plenty -swing- of men like him, huh? Pushy, grabby, arrogant Jews -swing-. For thirty years you waited, right? How did it feel? Did it -swing- feel good?" Each swing missed Brody by inches._

_"I didn't kill anyone." _

_Goren kept pushing forward, getting louder as he spoke.__ "Mark Simmons -swing- -swing- Rafe Benjamin"_

_"No!"_

_"You owed it to her, huh? -swing- Jeff Demsky -swing- Sam Landuel!" _

_"Stop it!"_

_Goren stared at him for a moment before throwing the pipe to the ground with a loud clatter. "Lena figured it out. Imagine how she must have felt, a Jewish woman married to a Jew killer."_

_"Not me!"_

_"The horror that you used her to find your victims."_

_"Not true!"_

_"The terror that one day you might turn your rage against your own daughter."_

_"Never! I would never-!"_

_"Your own Jewish daughter."_

_By then the anger and testosterone level was so high that it was almost tangible._

_--End Scene--_

Today was a bad day.

This case had gotten to him. It had gotten past his defenses and had almost caused him to lose it. He had always been known for his self-control. His discipline. Any anger he showed in the interrogation room was false and even if the anger was real he only attacked with words. Belittling and taunting the scum he was paid to catch.

Today he had picked up a pipe and swung. Only missing because years of practice kept him from making contact. He didn't turn around to see the look on Bishop's face but he could feel it. The fear her eyes had held burned through his cloths and into his skin.

Even that wasn't enough to stop him. In fact the sole reason for him throwing down the pipe was the fact that Brody was yelling at him to. Obviously frightened and angry. The only thing he hated more than bad fathers were cowards. And if he hurt this coward he would be no better than him. So with a moment's hesitation he released the pipe. Letting it fall to the ground.

No he was wondering the streets of New York. Not the smartest thing to do at night but he was drained. Both physically and mentally. His thoughts were jumping, so fast that he was getting a headache. Too much thinking for one night. He needed to get home. He needed to sleep but that wasn't coming anytime soon.

What he needed was a distraction. Someone to talk to.

"Robert Goren!"

Bobby startled slightly at sound of his name and the hand that had appeared out of nowhere grabbing the collar of his jacket. Wait a second. He knew that voice…

"I'm big, fat, and carrying an extra twenty pounds! You could at least have the damn courtesy to slow down, Bobby." Came the sarcastic remark from a familiar person.

Sure enough there was his partner, Alexandra Eames, as pregnant as ever and out of breath from chasing him down. "Are you okay Eames? You shouldn't be running around like that."

"Yeah. Yeah." Alex waved a hand at him as her breathing returned to normal. "I promise not to run anymore if you promise to stop walking when I call you. I must have yelled your name three times before I started running and let me tell you it's not an easy thing to do when your carrying a kid in you."

That comment made Bobby feel guilty. She could have hurt herself because he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings. He was just going to open his mouth to apologize when Alex stuck her hand up. "Don't apologize."

"But-"

"No."

"Just let me-"

"No."

"I want to apo-"

"If you feel that bad about it then help me back up to my apartment and we'll call it even. Besides I don't think I can make it alone, at the moment." Alex decided on a compromise. If he felt guilty and she felt tired why not reap the benefits?

So with the help of her tall and tired partner Alex made it home with out incident. While walking with Bobby she couldn't help but feel that something was wrong. He seemed quieter… older. Like he had aged since she had seen him earlier.

Now they were standing outside her door. Alex was trying to contemplate what was wrong while looking for her keys. Bobby was fighting between the urge to bolt and the need to stay. Finally Eames decided for him by unlocking the door and dragging him in before he could excuse himself.

Alex knew that if she gave him the choice he would out wandering the streets in the time it took her to shut the door. So she didn't give him any. Once the door was opened she lead him inside and locked it behind them. As she removed her coat she headed to the kitchen. Bobby followed suite since he didn't know what else to do.

"You want anything? Soda? Coffee?"

Bobby looked up to find Alex staring at him expectantly. "Uh, sure. Can I get a water?"

"One water coming right up." Alex opened the fridge and pulled out two water bottles. Keeping one for herself she tossed the other at Bobby, who caught it effortlessly. Alex headed for the couch and waved Bobby over her. Both took a seat next to each other and sat in silence.

"Are you okay?" So much for silence.

Bobby ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. As much as he wanted to explain what was wrong he didn't want to burden his partner with his problems. She had a baby on the way and didn't need the stress of worrying about him. "Yeah. I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

He was relying on the hope she'd let the matter drop. No such luck.

"That wasn't very convincing, so talk. What's bugging you?" Alex set her drink on the floor and faced him. Determined to get an answer.

"It's nothing." Bobby was once again avoiding the question. "Really."

Alex crossed her arms and stared right at him. She didn't say anything but did narrow her eyes at him. After a few minutes of this Bobby started squirming in his seat. She wasn't saying anything but no words were needed. If she kept this up he'd crack.

And crack he did.

"It's just been one of those cases, you know?" Bobby started. If she wanted to know so bad why not tell her? "She killed herself because she couldn't live with the truth. He killed because he couldn't see the truth. Five people are dead because of one affair."

Alex just listened as her partner continued.

"He killed to even the score with what happened to his mother. What he thought happened. Her son killed four stranger and her daughter- in- law staged her death as a murder."

But that wasn't it. There had to have been something more. So Alex kept her mouth shut and her ears open. Ready for the statement that had really gotten to him.

"His mother was beaten by her husband. He hit her in front of their kids with no regard with how it would affect them. I let it get to me and nearly took Brody's head off with a metal pipe."

At that last sentence Eames' eyes widened. She made a mental note to corner Bishop at some point to get the rest of that story.

"I almost lost it and no one was there to stop me. Bishop didn't know when to or even how to reel me back in. It was like I was back at square one. When I had a new partner every week and everyone thought I was crazy. Back when I would talk and nobody would listen."

Alex took a moment to think over everything he had just said, replaying certain bits before speaking. "I'm sorry I wasn't there but try to hang in there it's only for a few more months."

Bobby shook his head. "You shouldn't be apologizing to me. I'm just, just not used to having to explain myself. Being rushed along. I've gotten so used to you knowing what's in my head that I can't help but fall back on old habits when your not there."

"As sweet as that is, Bobby, you really should give Bishop a chance." Alex ruffled his hair affectionately. "She's no me but she's still pretty good. Besides you can call me or come over anytime you want. We can bounce off some of your infamous ideas and keep you from jumbling up your thoughts too much."

Hearing that made Bobby feel a lot better. He might not see her as often as he'd like but knowing that her door was always open made the next few months seem a little more bearable. "Thanks, Eames."

"No problem. If nothing else we're friends." They sat there thinking when a sudden thought occurred to Alex. "You know if I recall correctly we didn't get along to well when we started working together. In fact I distinctly remember that it took six to eight cases before we really started getting along."

"We weren't that bad." Bobby insisted. "And it didn't take us that long. You caught on and I mellowed out fairly quickly."

"Oh really?" Alex quirked an eyebrow and started ticking off fingers. "In the Artwood case we were practically at each others throats. With the dead priest we were better but still arguing. Oh, and don't even get me started on Talbott…"

"It was the very beginning and we didn't know each other. I had gone through too many partners to get my hopes up about you." Bobby defended. "Have I ever told you how bad I felt about that? I didn't mean to hang you out like bait."

"Don't worry about it but I'm just trying to make a point here."

"What point is that?"

"That you should cut the girl some slack. She's not used to the way your mind works. Though I do appreciate the fact that you miss me so much. Try to get along." As a side note she added, "But not too much. I still want my partner when I'm through being fat and bored."

"You have no worries there."

"Good. Now if you'll excuse me for a moment those strange pregnancy cravings just kicked in and there's a jar of pickles and a bottle of chocolate syrup with my name on it." Alex laughed at her partner's obvious disgust of having the two together. Just as she was standing up the baby decided it was a good time to kick. "Oh!"

Bobby was at her side in a second. Taking her hand he gently eased her back onto the couch. "What's wrong? Did you stand up too quickly?"

"No." Another brilliant idea popped into her head, something that would take his mind of his case completely. "But I want to show you something."

"What?"

Alex took his hands and placed them on her stomach. Then she put them over his so he couldn't pull away, which he tried. "Eames? What are you-?"

"Calm down and wait for it."

Confused Bobby did as directed. They sat there for a few minuets before the baby reacted again. His eyes widened and a big grin started forming as he felt the baby kick again. "Hey!"

Alex chuckled at his reaction. "It really is amazing. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that there's a little person growing inside of me."

"I've never felt a baby kick before. It's just...wow!" For once Bobby was at a failure for words. There simple weren't any good enough for the little miracle that was taking place inside his partner and friend.

"I know what you mean. It really is a magical thing."

Bobby stayed for a few more hours. He felt the baby kick some more and talked with Alex. As time slipped by he became more relaxed than he had been all day. The stress and fatigue he had felt when Alex collared him earlier had washed away in that visit. By the time he left for home he was feeling better about what laid ahead. Confident that things were going to be okay as long as he had Alex to look forward to.

TBC...


End file.
